You guys, I’m getting married.
In less than two months.
This is happening.
Steve and I have been together for 7 years now. We live together. We’ve raised a dog child together. We are in it to mother f*in win it.
So when we got engaged last June I was obviously so excited. I felt like we’ve already been through the most important part of wedding planning, the relationship building, life planning stuff that matters more than centerpieces. However, the day after the romantic proposal, which you can read about here, I did feel an overwhelming amount of pressure that somehow literally entered my life the moment I said, “YES!”
I might not be a wedding planner or a wedding expert but I’ve now been through the planning process and I have a mom that’s the etiquette queen and gives Martha Stewart a run for her money. So, over the next two months, I am here to share all my wedding details, answer the questions I’ve received and tell you that it’s totally normal if you feel like you’re going to have a nervous breakdown.
Below are a few questions to ask yourself before you even start planning your wedding.
Do I want to have a wedding?
Newsflash! Weddings aren’t for everyone.
If you’ve considered whether or not you want to throw an actual party you shouldn’t feel guilty or selfish. A wedding, as we now know it, is not for everyone. And guess what, that’s totally okay!
You’re going to be spending a lot of time and money on the wedding and it’s definitely something to consider whether you actually want to have one. Don’t have one for your parents. Don’t have one because you want to show off to your friends. Don’t have one because you want to make your ex-boyfriend jealous. And definitely, don’t do it for the gram.
You should have a wedding because YOU and your fiancé want to have a wedding. And if you do, it’s going to be a dream and if you don’t all the more power for doing you.
Who do I want to invite to my wedding?
Your guest list is the most important factor when wedding planning Your guests are the ones that will make your wedding special and they will also determine what type of wedding you will have.
Now obviously not everyone is going to come and you shouldn’t plan your wedding around other people, but you do need to consider the people that you NEED to be there. For instance, my grandparents can’t travel and for me, it was more important to have them at my wedding than to have my wedding in Los Angeles because the weather is better. I mean, priorities.
It’s important to make a guest list with your fiancé so you can determine how many friends you want to invite. Then, ask both sets of parents for their list. Afterward, you can start trimming down. If your parents are dead set on inviting certain people, then you should respect their wishes, especially if they are helping pay for the wedding. When it comes to friends, it’s important to think about the friends you’re closest to, the people who have been in your life for years and the people who you see being in your life for years to come.
It’s insane how quickly people add up so it’s very important to draft a guest list before you start venue hunting because you want to make sure your venue is large enough to fit your guests and you also need to be cautious of minimums. If your venue has a 200 person minimum and you’re only expecting 150 guests, do you really want to pay for 50 extra people that aren’t even going to be there? UM, I don’t think so!
What is my budget?
You’re obviously aware that weddings are expensive. But let me tell you this. You have no idea how expensive. On average, roses are a $1 a stem. Want roses in your bouquet? $20 per stem!! It’s some bullshit. I blame TLC.
Know anyone at “Say Yes to the Dress” I can send all my bills to?!!?
Anyways, I tell you this because it’s the damn truth. Writing a budget is extremely important. Writing a budget and sticking to it takes a lot of work. Prioritizing and being conscious of your financial situation is imperative. You’re going to regret that $10,000 dress if you are eating Ramen for the next two years.
At the end of the day, all that matters is the relationship you have with your future husband. Planning a wedding is a real testament to great communication. So please, communicate. Communicate on what you want, who you want there and what you can afford and most importantly, what you need from each other. Let the wedding planning begin!